Apologizing for exuberance

So after some further consideration, I think I am not really the person to reinvent the internet filter. I have a lot of learning to do before I could possibly tackle something like that in anything like a useful manner. It’s possible I could hack together a pretty simple word-frequency model, but I’m not at all certain I could really go beyond that; I’m not an AI programmer, nor do I have any experience with natural language processing. My experience so far has mostly been with basic systems programming and game design. It’s probable I’ll return to the problem in the distant future, but for right now I think it’s best I leave such a task to more capable hands.

I just get frustrated. I feel like I actually want to do something about the shit that’s going on, besides just spreading the word about it and condemning it. That is, to me, literally the least I can do. Hell, if I didn’t do that, I’d think rather ill of myself, frankly.

I am merely a writer, ultimately, be it in code, in prose, or in games. And as I said before, when all the tools you have are words, but the jackals have not ears to hear or eyes to read those words, it can feel like a bit of a useless talent. Instead perhaps the best I can do is, if not contributing to the fight for equality necessarily, at least to the fight for a better class of game that speaks to broader themes and more inclusive worlds than more manshoots and bald-man-saves-the-world games. Recent events have really done havoc to my motivation and enthusiasm for gaming; but maybe if I can write something I am enthusiastic about, it might come back. If good writing and creativity are "killing games", then maybe I should take up the hatchet as well…​

I’m curious what others think, especially those women who’re facing this mess. What can I do? Or even, should I be doing anything other than what I have been; after all, it’s your voice far more than mine that needs to be heard right now.

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